Happiness only real when shared.

A (short) guide to real happiness.

You can’t become happy. It’s impossible. That is until you change the way you think of happiness.

Wait. Before we talk happiness, let’s talk value.

Have you ever wondered why we always chase something that eludes us? Of course, you have; it’s only human.

We humans go after things that we perceive as valuable.

It’s in our nature; we’re wired to seek value when we spot it. We’re always looking at the world through value-goggles.

Value increases when scarcity increases. Therefore, absence creates value. More absence equals more value.

We humans go after things that are absent (in our lives).

Now, everybody’s got problems; there is no person on this earth without a single problem.

Problems require solutions. Therefore, everybody’s looking for solutions. And this brings us to the problem of desire.

We humans desire things that look like solutions to problems.

Desire is the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be in the future; that gap is absence.

“Desire is the root of all suffering.”

Buddha said that 2502 years ago. That guy was smart.

Now, let’s get back to happiness because that’s what we started with.

We humans want to be happy.

Human desire is ever-present. And that’s because there are always gaps (or absences if you will) between where we are and where we want to be.

That where is not a place; it is a feeling. And that feeling is, usually, the feeling of happiness.

But, unfortunately for us, there’s a caveat as far as happiness is concerned.

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it eludes you, and the more you stand still, the more it comes to you.

This makes you think: Does chasing happiness ever work?

No.

Happiness is a by-product; it’s something you experience while doing other things.

Therefore, if you want to experience happiness, you have to stop desiring the feeling of happiness itself.

And this brings us to the title of this article.

“Happiness only real when shared.”

Christopher McCandless said that. And it’s something that’s stuck with me ever since I saw the movie “Into the Wild”.

I always wondered why he said that. He did things his way; he had no care in the world.

He ventured into the wild, making his dream come true. Alone. He and his dream.

Being alone with your dreams, though, doesn’t make you happy. That’s what he realized and wrote in his notebook while he lay on the ground, taking his last breaths.

We humans are social animals.

It’s in our nature; we’re wired for sociality. And friendships are the foundation of our social nature; it’s the best part of it.

Happiness is a feeling that’s best experienced when it’s shared. When you share it, it multiplies and spreads; it becomes contagious.

Happiness doesn’t grow in a vacuum; it flourishes in the presence of friends.

Absence of friendships equals absence of happiness.

And that is why: Happiness only real when shared.